A bit more about OSTSTL (Once smitten, twice shy, thrice lucky)...

Now that my debut novel titled ‘Once smitten, twice shy, thrice lucky’ is out for sale, people have started asking me a lot of questions. But there is one question which has stuck to me and the answer to which, I haven’t been able to give so far. But, now I think the time is just right.


What made me write this story?

To begin with, I started off with this script in the second half of 2011. Back then, I was angry, frustrated at my inability to do things that made me happy. In other words, I was undergoing an identity crisis – ironically it is something, I shouldn’t have after passing out as an MBA graduate from IIMA. My life had changed completely and I was financially independent. But I continued to feel a void inside me, which I couldn’t attribute to anything specific and that made matters worse. And if you are wondering how something like this could happen to someone, then either you are plain lucky or not have gone through the inflection point called ‘Quarter-life crisis’.

So, at that stage, one fine day, I just started writing. And this process continued uninterrupted for about three straight months. I transformed in those three months for the process itself had a therapeutic effect on me. I had a story, I long wanted to write. Though, the outline of the story was based partly on real experiences, I had to fictionalise it. That was one challenge, I loved.

If you ask me if there was anything specific or tangible that acted as a trigger before I decided to be an author; yes, there is. Writing allows me to visualise and shape characters I have always loved. Writing allows me to set stories that I have always wanted to be a part of. So, when I write, I invest a small emotional part of me in it, something that hopefully makes me different from the rest.

In this case, the story of Varun was something that I wanted others to be a part of. It’s not every day that an MBA from IIMA decides to shift gears and go for a supposedly offbeat career that actually makes him/her happy. Varun is that guy, who eventually becomes a photo-journalist. But what makes him do so? That is essentially the crux of Once smitten, twice shy, thrice lucky.


If you think OSTSTL is just another love story, then think again!

There are multiple layers to the story. Characters like M.C Aaliya, Sasha make a fleeting but a special appearance; either triggering an onset of an emotional roller-coaster tsunami or making Varun realise the importance of being alive and loved.

Quite a few scenes in the story revolve around socially pertinent issues like Corruption, Black money, AIDS etc. Look out for the part where Varun decides to take on a Machiavellian landlord and nail him down for his innumerable sins. Don’t expect Varun to be a super-hero when he does that though!


A brief sneak peek into the characters of OSTSTL...

I have tried to sketch characters, who are ordinary, like you and like me. So, I hope many of you are able to connect or relate to how the characters behave and act in response to a given situation.

Meera – Varun’s sister. She’s Varun’s sounding board. Intelligent and way more mature than her age. Is a banker. When she says, ‘I know you are one hopeless romantic,’ she reads her brother like no one else.

Rekha – A fashion designer, she’s Varun’s best friend, who doesn’t shy away from chiding Varun when he has acted stupidly or done something not expected of him (which Varun does quite a few times!)

Satish – Rekha’s husband. He’s Varun’s partner-in-crime in college and his other best friend. Satish is probably the only one who gets Varun when no one does.

Vishu – She falls madly in love with Varun and so does he. But she doesn’t acknowledge the same for reasons Varun refuses to comprehend. She’s the ‘Once smitten’ part of Varun’s life, who returns back into his life as a good friend.

Nancy – Varun and Nancy share a special bond. A special bond that Varun shies away from labelling it as love. Nancy though after a bitter turn of unintended events, decides to walk away from Varun’s life. Destiny brings them together though, yet again.

Lahari – A neuro-surgeon who brings back Varun from the brink of certain death. Her presence changes Varun’s life for the better. But she has a rather violent past that Varun has to embrace.

Zamindar – He’s the villain!

Kishore Naidu – Vishu’s father. A caste obsessed politician and someone who Vishu abhors. He’s the other villain!

Shivaiah – Lahari’s guardian, he’s the one who brings Lahari up as his own daughter and helps Varun plot the downfall of Zamindar.

Artists crave appreciation for they toil hard to bring alive their figments of imagination. In a sense, I too am an artist. An applause or a pat on the back is something I am never tired of. So, if you find that Once smitten, twice shy, thrice lucky has in some way or the other made you sit back and contemplate on your life, inspired you to fight for what is right or made you realise that true love is all about trust, then don’t forget to share your thoughts and give your rating for this book on Goodreads.

I would also appreciate a constructive feedback on how I could improve in my quest to becoming a better storyteller.

For more details, please visit the official facebook page.

Cheers,
Sandeep Kothapalli

The making of OSTSTL...

Love? I think ‘Love’ is the most misconstrued and abused word of all time. Most people don’t quite understand what love is all about. I don’t have any qualms in admitting that I too have failed to decode the mystery that’s love. And yet, I have managed to write a contemporary romantic novel titled ‘Once smitten, twice shy, thrice lucky’. I proudly unveil the cover design.

Many thanks to my current roomies Srinivas Drona and Siddharth Varshney for ideating and coming up with the cover concept that’s before you. It’s pretty simple – depicting the three emotions, the protagonist experiences. Heartbreak. Then, the rebound when the protagonist is unsure what to make of his friendship with a girl he likes. And then finally meeting his soul-mate.

Published by Notion Press, OSTSTL will be soon available in Flipkart, Amazon, Bookadda and other such leading portals. An e-book version will also be released along with the paperback.

My tryst with this book began about three years back. I started giving shape to the protagonists after Diwali 2011. By then, I had written many short stories that I kept to myself. Most of them were wildly imaginative and some were outlandish. But with OSTSTL, I literally let my imagination run amok. There were days when I would skip office and come back home early, for I knew what the protagonists were about to do next. I feared that if I don’t pen down my thoughts soon enough, I would lose them. And that wouldn’t be fair to the protagonists and the story in general. OSTSTL has been my baby. And I have nurtured it for so long that I sometimes find it hard to let go.

I have never been a morning person, so to speak. So my nocturnal habits that I inculcated at IIMA, came in handy. I would spend the evenings visualising how the protagonists would think and hence act, taking the storyline forward. After dinner, my fingers would start rolling on the keyboard. In between, I would listen to music that would more often than not suit the mood the story would be set in. I have come to realise that I can’t be a good writer if I let my personal life tamper with the engine (my brain) pumping the creative juices. So, in that sense, writing was therapeutic.

Meanwhile, I had to endure a debilitating mental condition, known to afflict even the best of writers called ‘Writer’s Block’. A well lubricated knee allows you to walk normally. An inflammation of the knee joint is debilitating. A writer’s block is the inflammation of your creative thought process. It’s debilitating for it jams that part of the brain that churns out ideas. And yet, writer’s block is an intrinsic process, a result of your own undoing. Why? I think part of it has got to do with the process of writing itself. Writing is a confusing profession to be in. While developing the story, most writers often keep to themselves and seldom share what they write for fear of getting influenced. I was no different. As a result, when I reach the so called ‘saturation point’, I am no longer able to think rationally. I am not happy with what I try to write. Ask my ‘backspace’ button on the keyboard and it will tell you the extent to which I sometimes subjected it to insurmountable levels of cruelty. I will not mince my words. I was depressed as hell, when I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t able to write. Of course back then, I wasn’t aware that I was experiencing writer’s block.  And that further made matters worse. Luckily, I knew that I needed to take a break, which I did. But a writer has to stay afresh and inspired for you never know when you experience a brainwave. And you got to be ready for that moment to arrive, like a flash, like a thunderbolt that jolts you into writing again. I guess I was ready. So, this is how I ended up completing what I thought was OSTSTL.

But then by the end of January 2013, I felt that my draft needed a little refining. The vocabulary was far from impressive. The narrative lacked the depth, finesse and dimension. And the grammar was horrible. That’s when destiny brought me and my editor Divya Lavanya together for a collaboration that was to last for the next 9 months or so. I can’t thank her enough. Of course, this collaboration wouldn’t have been fruitful without the unflinching support of her husband Sarat. And how can I forget Divya and Sarat’s cute little daughter Baby Satvika. I hope that she picks up my book when she starts reading fiction! Divya, Sarat and I share the same alma mater – JNTU Hyderabad. So, it didn’t take us much time to connect in a big way.

Anyway, so what my editor brought to the table did wonders to the book. The draft underwent further revisions. Dots that didn’t connect were done away with. Some tracks were removed. Ruthless editing was done. In the process, Divya pushed me to the limits. She was critical which a good editor should always be. And yet, she sometimes sang paeans, telling me how dramatically I had improved under her tutelage. Looking back, I think Divya was the best person to edit my book. Why? She understands what it is to love and be loved. I am pretty sure that we have many more such projects to work on together. The final draft was ready by January 2014. Now, it’s time for some more acknowledgments.

Writing is a lonely process. And yet requires that your support system be strong. My unassuming little sister has always been a source of inspiration and rock solid support for me. Thanks Sindu. You rock! Many thanks Dipika, Srinivas, Divya for the constant stream of morale boosters that helped me clear all shreds of a lack of confidence in my abilities.

Manoj Motiani, Abhilash Gudla, Aditya Shekhar, Abhinav Pathi, Avinash Singh, Soumya Poddar, Vikas Nigam, Prasad Dhake, Rachit Kumar, Charu Lata Sharma, Arulin Jajorea and Anirban Samajpati – Special mention to all of you for sharing your life experiences and insights on love, money and women. Thanks a ton for making my living life at IIMA a memorable experience. Did I mention that a small part of the story in OSTSTL is set in IIMA? Don’t worry. I have tried my best to paint a very realistic imagery of IIMA!

Surya Chandrika Bondada – Now you know why I constantly kept on bombarding you with queries. Thanks a lot. Your medical insights have contributed immensely in shaping an important protagonist of this book. I am sure you will rock as a great surgeon some day.

Kiran & Divya Gone – To be an integral part of your tryst with unbridled love has been both an honour and something I take great pride in. I have taken the liberty to sketch characters based on you both and I hope you connect to them. Many thanks to you both. Keep rocking!

Lakshmi Yadavalli and Sonali Korada – I have immensely enjoyed listening to your version of how men fail to understand women. Or rather should I say your version of a dummies guide to understanding women? Can’t thank you both enough though. For making me a better person and labelling me with the proverbial ‘nice guy’ tag. It sure does feel good, listening to you both.

Special mention to PVR, Sandeep Yerra, Abhinav Agarwal, Shekhar Raj for bearing a silent ‘me’. All of you have been very supportive of my creative endeavour. We shall raise a toast some day!

And of course mom and dad. I have inherited many traits. But the one thing I will cherish the most is the power to remain silent for long periods of time. This has sure helped me. Silence is golden? Naah. I say, Silence is Platinum! And of course, all of life is a chance...

signing off,

Sandeep Kothapalli

Bragging is good!

Hi folks,

There are only three sports I play fairly well – Badminton, Football and Cricket. My tryst with Football though ended in an absolutely humiliating defeat, topped with the fact that I got my knees heavily bruised. In school, I was a lanky guy – timid and looked down upon with utter disdain by the usual bullies. They never messed with me in the classroom. But out on the field, I was virtually non-existent. How was an unfit guy like me supposed to compete with the champion players on the field? I mean wasn't it already bad enough that they were being humiliated day in day out, being compared to me when it came to how good I was in academics? There was no way they were allowing me to steal their thunder in something they were so good at. 

Looking back, I realise that the only time I felt inferior and utterly worthless was while playing football. The last time I played football was in the eleventh standard. I was the goalkeeper and our team was leading in the first half. But like always, my team choked when it mattered. Well, I choked! Why a team I am in, always chokes? It felt terrible. I was dejected and that wasn't the first time, you see. No wonder, I am all at sea when my peers have a passionate discussion on EPL and Champion’s League.

Badminton was an indoor sport I played, more for killing time than anything else. And to be frank, playing Badminton allowed me to vent out my feelings whenever I was frustrated or angry. I was really good at smashing the badminton cock, sometimes literally to smithereens. Quite something for a stick-thin guy! Even then, I was a good doubles player. But that was just about it.

So, needless to say, I was a really good cricketer. So much so that had my father been rich enough to send me to a cricket coaching institute, who knows! I can say this with a fair degree of pride that I am a self-made cricketer. *Laughing at myself* I never managed to play beyond the school level. But it was simply because Cricket wasn't my priority. And look where that has landed me to! Pun obviously intended...

Anyway, I have fond memories when it comes to Cricket. I was a very good deep fielder. I have held stunning one handed catches – each one of which I vividly remember till date. I have effected run outs for my team in crucial match winning moments. And sometimes in one of those days gone horribly wrong, I have also spilled the simplest of catches. My lean personality didn't allow me to go for lofty shots. So, as a batsman, the ‘Dravid’ school of batting technique suited me the most. I would be dismissed mostly while attempting a lofty shot or try an adventurous cheeky run. Otherwise, I was so good at sticking around and converting the ones into twos that the opposition would instead try to dismiss the other batsman. My tall frame allowed me to play even the short balls better. But if you look at my wagon-wheel in batting, I was a dominant leg-side batsman. The only shots I played really well on the off-side were the late cuts. Enough of boasting, Sandy! I never bragged like this before and you might be wondering why.

Because, two weeks ago, while playing for league matches organised by the HR guys, I opened the innings for my team in a 15-15 over match. At the team meeting held a day before, I volunteered to open the innings. Call it the effect of monotony at the workplace, but I actually wanted to be under pressure and feel the surge of adrenalin through my body once again. Weird, I guess. But sometimes, monotony takes a toll on you. And that’s when people like me take impulsive decisions – most of which are associated with a high risk high returns payoff. The last time I felt butterflies in my stomach was on the day of graduation at IIMA. So, when I had pre-match jitters, going through the motions rather anxiously and pacing to and fro in the room, my roomies were amused; wondering why I was taking the match so seriously. ‘Dude, it’s a bloody HR team-building endeavour. Just play for fun and enjoy,’ is all they said. 

But I wanted to do well. I really wanted to be a match-winner, again. I wasn't feeling like a winner for quite some time. Do you know how it feels to be on top of the world? ‘Utopian-exhilaration’ is the word! I have been a winner for most part of my life. IIMA was a humbling experience though. So for me, this league match was a golden opportunity to redeem the winner in me. Now you know why my tone in this post is boasting in nature. For a change, that feels good. It feels great to tell you that I did a pretty good job as an opening batsman, especially when wickets around me were tumbling. Literally!

We won the toss and decided to bat first. The team felt that anything above 100 was a pretty good score to defend. And I was to play the anchor, at least till the first six overs. Alas, the team lost three wickets in the first three overs itself. The opposition was bowling well, keeping it tight. Even my personal score was in single digits. There was no way to let loose and attempt stupid shots. It was time to build a partnership. Thankfully, the new batsman started playing his shots right away and that allowed me to rotate the strike. His strokes released the pent up pressure and lifted our spirits. I was happy taking the ones and twos, with occasional boundaries and giving most of the strike to him. Our partnership ended in the twelfth over, when I holed out to the fielder in the deep. With a personal score of 30 and a strike rate of 85, I was applauded for my performance. It felt great, when my teammates patted my shoulders in appreciation.

But then again, my team choked pretty badly. As a part-time pacer, I did my bit, trying to resurrect my team’s fortunes when I got a batsman out caught in the gully. But three catches off my bowling in the next five balls were spilled or not attempted at all. I was dejected, not because my team lost but the way we didn't try to win.

Nevertheless, I was still happy with myself. It felt great to feel the surge of adrenalin in a strange way. Exhilarating, when you have realized that there is no need to run, for the shot you have hit is going away for a boundary. It took a good performance in Cricket to remind me how good I was in school, winning mostly and being a pretty sore loser. I realised that for a winner, being humble is the greatest virtue anyone can ever possess. But who doesn't like a little spice sometimes? It’s alright to deliberately put yourself under pressure and come out triumphant. You’re humble and that’s fine. But sometimes, it’s okay to be bragging about your successes under pressure, however insignificant and silly it might seem or look. It’s critical that we sometimes indulge in something that invokes the warrior spirit in us. It’s a win-win bet. You win, you brag and feel good. You lose and it is a humbling experience. You learn from your mistakes and try to emerge victorious the next time.

Hail the philosopher in me! Although, I must admit that most people who know me well avoid invoking my philosophical alter ego. Probably the reason why I am a better listener!

signing off,

taureansandy

'Sach' is life...

Source: NDTV

1030 hrs, 15^th November 2013

On any other day, I can be seen checking mails in Outlook in the office at this time. But today was different. Sachin was still at the crease, playing in what has turned out to be his swansong. I missed watching him in his final moments as a Master Batsman and will for the rest of my life.  I sounded so banal, right? You might have already heard many others like me saying ‘Cricket will never be the same again’. But then isn’t that the fact? Well, some might differ with the likes of Virat and Rohit making their mark in a spectacular fashion. Yes, they are remarkably talented. But it remains to be seen how well they perform in the bouncier pitches of South Africa. God, I digressed again!

I am 26. Sachin started his international career on this day, 24 years ago. Fair to assume that I and many others of my generation have literally grown up watching him play his trademark straight drives and leg glances – two strokes you know run away to the boundary when Sachin plays them. Such was his impeccable timing. Of course, I know two other Indian players who had a divine sense of timing like him. They were his contemporaries – Rahul Dravid and Sourav Ganguly. Rahul almost always pulled the short ball with disdain and yet managed to keep it to the ground – a shot I tried to replicate in the matches I played and failed miserably. And of course Sourav is the ‘God of off side’. I especially enjoyed the long partnerships Sachin shared with Rahul in tests and with Sourav in the ODIs.

Reminiscing those glorious days, when I used to sit glued to the television sets watching ODI cricket played by players who were real gentlemen, I can understand why my maternal grandfather keeps harping on how 20-20 cricket has killed the fun of watching test cricket. My generation of cricketers – the likes of Sachin, Rahul, Sourav, Anil and VVS were aggressive on the field and yet played ‘nicely’. They were players who would keep their emotions in check (Sourav’s extravagance and Anil’s temper? Okay. But we all crave for a little spice, don’t we?). But if tomorrow, my kid cousin brother comes up to me and asks which cricketer he should emulate, would I say Virat or Rohit? NO! Sorry Virat and Rohit. But dudes, beep your expletives please! I am no one to comment on your skills for you both are well on the way to be legends in your own right.

We Indians are jingoist. Offended? Oh, come on! Truth is bitter. But when it comes to Sachin, have we been so? You would say that all the immense adulation, respect and love that his contemporaries, cricket experts, the common man, politicians and Bollywood stars alike have showered on him is what he fully deserves. Yes, he does! Unequivocally yes! Otherwise, what would explain the fascination of Media and Brands with Sachin that has reached the pinnacle today? But this ‘Sachin mania’, a phenomenon of an unprecedented scale has happened because quite a few elements of the universe have come together at the right moments to conspire and lead to the phenomenon we Indians are witnessing today.

• 1983 – India wins the World Cup: And if cynics then dismissed this off as a flash in the pan, then winning the Benson and Hedges Cup in 1985 proved them wrong. This period coincided with the spectacular fall of Indian Hockey. People found solace in the fact that India was beginning to do well in Cricket. The win in 1983 and 1985 only served to popularise the sport we are so obsessed with now. Cricket stars like Sunil Gavaskar and Kapil Dev were soon endorsing brands and BCCI shifted its focus to organising more and more ODIs to mint money. And even as Cricket started undergoing what many would call ‘glamorization’, a certain Sachin Tendulkar was already creating a buzz in the domestic circuit.  

• 1991 - Liberalization of the Indian Economy: Sachin’s genius by then was already being talked about and as a child prodigy, he was touted as the next big thing. And then our economy opened the doors to the likes of Coke, Pepsi, Nike and Adidas. Realising the immense marketing potential Cricket as a sport offered, they lost no time in making Sachin the poster boy of Cricket. With his endearing boyish looks and yet an adult like maturity in batsmanship, Sachin’s brilliance was soon the talk of the town. The fact that Sachin, a boy from a middle class family, never let success get to him made him a darling of mothers who wanted their sons to emulate him. And sons like me are still trying to. Why? I won’t bother to answer you! But his demeanour on and off the field speak for themselves. And I am not even talking about his feats in numbers and statistical parameters.

• 1996 – Mark Mascarenhas signs a long term contract with Sachin making him one of the richest sportspersons globally. That to me was the moment Sports marketing became synonymous with Cricket. The likes of Virat, Rohit and other youngsters minting so much money now through IPL should thank Sachin for it.

• Sachin and the Indian Demographic profile – An estimated 150 million Indians today are in the age bracket 18-23. And over 450 million Indians today are in the age bracket 5-24. What does this mean? Simple. An entire generation (40-45% of the country’s population) has grown up watching this man play. Add to this the fact that Sachin’s textbook technique and boyish charm has even impressed the likes of my Grandfather – a generation that has grown up watching test matches (Of course back in the 60s and the 70s, people in India had all the time in the world to sit and listen to Radio commentary all day). His humility despite absurdly insurmountable levels of success he has achieved, longevity and endurance has ensured that he waved his magical wand over youngsters and elders alike. Isn’t that enough reason why we all should miss him?

What does Sachin mean to me?

He’s a demigod to many Indians. Someone, guys like me can look up to for lessons in humility and achieving excellence. But for me, Sachin is much more. Sachin was the answer to that one question which I believe led to IIM A opening its hallowed portals to welcome me in. In retrospect, I did answer many tricky questions well but this question about Sachin will be something that I will always remember and cherish. Aah! I can see you are keen to know how. So here goes the story. 

I was the first candidate to be called in for the interview by the panel. 15 minutes into the interview, I hadn’t stumbled at any point, though I took my time to answer their tricky questions. But the panel had other thoughts. They were yet to throw their best salvo at me. And then one of the professors asked me which sport I followed the most. I said ‘Cricket’. They grimaced as if to suggest ‘Oh God! Cricket? Not again’. Then they asked me who my favourite cricketer was? Yes, you know what I answered. And then they asked me to plot his ‘Popularity curve’ with time on the x-axis and popularity on the y-axis. That caught me off-guard. There was no right answer to it. But then I had to be logical and explain why I drew a classical ‘S-curve’ - a Sigmoid function that saturated towards the end.

‘Why do you think the curve should saturate to a straight line?’ asked one of the professors.

‘Sir, to be honest, Sachin’s reflexes are already slowing down and with the young crop taking over, his popularity might dwindle a bit. So I think it would saturate towards the end’, I replied. They nodded.

Three months later, I was elated. I was in IIMA and was living my dream. And the two years that I spent learning the nuances of management also coincided with that period when against all odds, Sachin once again peaked to the best form of his life. His 200 in the ODI in Gwalior against a very good South African bowling attack and then his last test century against the same opposition in the bouncier pitches of South Africa – both of them in 2010 stand out. He seemed timeless. And then in Diwali 2010, I saw him bat for the first time in the test match in Motera against New Zealand. He missed out on a half century. But watching him bat in front of my eyes, I realised he was human after all. I saw him in flesh and had goose bumps all over. That day, when he walked back to the pavilion visually disappointed, it struck me that I was wrong to surmise that Sachin’s popularity would dwindle. Leave alone his popularity. He had set newer benchmarks and broken records in 2010-11 with the final jewel on his crown – A world cup medal. Damn! He cried, I cried and like me a million others. Trash that S-curve! It didn’t straighten after all.

God has powers. A superhuman is a human who with sheer talent, perseverance and humility achieves the status of a demigod. So, Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar isn’t god. He’s a superhuman. And now he’s a Bharat Ratna. But for me, Sachin would remain an enigma, a name, a memory associated with those moments when I had given it all to fulfill a dream. I was wrong about this man, and I don’t regret one bit about it.

Yes, I had tears watching him touch the cricket pitch one final time in reverence and make that final farewell speech with an immaculate control over his emotions. Amidst tributes galore to this great man, I couldn’t resist the urge to jot down what I feel for SRT.

If ‘Bhaag Milkha Bhaag’, a biopic on Milkha Singh has grossed over 100 Crores globally, then I am pretty sure a blockbuster of a movie is coming its way with a biopic on Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar!

P.S: Rahul Dravid and Sourav Ganguly deserved a similar farewell. But then I am not missing them much. In their new avatars as a commentator and a cricket analyst, they are as classical and extravagant as they both were while batting.

signing off,

taureansandy 

I can write as well...

I am listening to a soulful composition by Harris Jayaraj. A haunting melody sung by Bombay Jayashree. My fingers keep rolling on the keyboard of my laptop, as my thoughts translate to words on a Microsoft word document. Yet sometimes, I struggle to form cohesive sentences. The fact that ‘Backspace’ is the keyboard button I use the most after ‘Space’ is testimony to this fact. I have forgotten how it feels to physically hold a pen and write on a piece of parchment. There were days, when I used to practice so many mathematical problems on paper that my index and middle finger would terribly hurt. Don’t you remember the days when possessing a ‘Cello Gripper’ was considered a fashion statement of sorts?

And now, here I am trying to make a name as a ‘Writer’. Okay, not just a ‘Writer’ but a great one. But I am struggling. I am no better than a junior artist in Bollywood, who’s trying to break in and look for that one ‘lucky break’ which is elusive in most cases. Why? My manuscript has been rejected by the biggies. That was a jolt I probably needed to come out of complacency. I was pretty confident of my writing abilities. But rejection forces you to rethink. Rejection is the best thing that can happen to anyone, for it is a humbling experience. I think I should first set the context right, before I proceed further.

It all began in the month of September in 2011. Four months of life in the corporate boardrooms, I was disillusioned. Who am I? What was I doing after passing out from the ‘toughest B-school to get into’? What do I want to do with my life? And then there was this tryst with... I suppose you got that one! A very depressing day in office was the trigger. I furiously opened my laptop and vented out my feelings on the keyboard. And there it was – a short note, reflecting on anything and everything that happened in my life in the last one year. I read and reread it and laughed at myself, wondering how puerile I can be sometimes. I wasn't immature. I was less mature. Then, as an afterthought I decided to share it with three friends who know the in and out of me. One of them then suggested that I extend it further into a fully fledged novel. Of course, it had to be fictionalized. And it was. It’s been over two years now. We are on the verge of getting it published.

We? Yes, me and my editor. This script is my baby. Precisely five months ago, I began searching for an editor to nurture it. Lucky me! It wasn't such a painful exercise after all. Working with my editor on this ‘soon to be published’ book has been a delightful and an immensely enriching experience. Of course, I did have some trouble trying to unlearn all those things ingrained in my psyche, to which I was conditioned to and look at the script from her perspective. And I also managed to rile my editor once with my stupidity while reworking on the script. But she pushed me to stretch my realms of imagination and come up with something better. Of course, that’s what good editors are supposed to be doing. Now, when I realise I am a better narrator than I was probably a year back, then I have to thank my editor for it.

Dear editor, if you are reading this and I know you would, I would like to tell you that I have downloaded a copy of Wren and Martin. The file’s conveniently saved on my laptop's desktop, so that every time I see it, I know I am messing with the ‘funniest language’ in the world and trying to make a career out of it. This, despite the fact that my score in the ‘Verbal Ability’ section of CAT 2008 led me straight into the hallowed portals of IIMA! Boastful, eh? Unequivocally, yes!

Disclaimer: I am venturing into the ‘blunt’ mode. I would like to call this the ‘phase’, when I am unabashedly shameless and brutally honest about my views and the insights I share. So, if you can’t stand this mode, I suggest you stop right here!

‘Writing a book is the intellectual equivalent of running a marathon’. I quote my ex-roommate, verbatim. He so succinctly described my experience of writing a novel that I could only nod in admiration. He recently quit his job to venture full-time into wedding photography. A bold step I must say. Anyways, the point I was trying to make was that Writing as a profession doesn't guarantee financial stability, especially for a fledgling writer like me who aspires to make it big. And moreover, writing is an exhaustive activity in itself. I remember having endured the proverbial writer’s block a couple of times – a phase a writer dreads the most. Writing is inherently associated with solitude. Most writers embrace silence and contemplate in solitude, for it allows them to be ‘in the zone’. I know what it’s like to be ‘in the zone’. It’s that phase when the creative juices overflow and you just can’t stop writing.

Being a writer is also tough, in a society that is turning increasingly materialistic. What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when I say I am a writer? People who don’t know me well might conjure one or all of the following: Crazy, lunatic, eccentric, most probably a serial drinker, hardcore introvert, irrational, radical, lean, hairy (OMG!). It’s bloody true, given the kind of imagery associated with some of the bestselling authors of the world. I can’t just roam around proclaiming that I am a writer. Not until, I have written a bestseller. Unfortunately, I see myself being dragged down by people who fail to appreciate fine arts and still have a word of advice for me or worse, think that all I do is daydream. Bloody hypocrites! But, I have to also acknowledge the presence of friends who have firmly supported me. It’s because of them that I can dream, imagine and write. The sad truth about us, the proud Indians that we call ourselves, is that we sometimes ruthlessly rebuke those who dare to dream beyond the obvious. Visionaries have blossomed in environments where they were encouraged to dream and act on fulfilling them. What harm is there if I want to be one? Anyways...

I have managed to complete my book. Per se, it’s an achievement. Is the book good or bad? You have to judge. Incidentally, there’s a contest called NANOWRIMO where budding writers register and write 50000 words of their novel in the month of November. ‘Gosh’ was my first reaction when I first went through the infomercial. That’s crazy! I can never do that. Probably, that’s the reason why it took me two years. 

My editor did ask me once. How did I keep going? Did I not run out of patience? Was I not tired whilst letting my imagination run amok and pen my thoughts down? Of course, I was. But I was so involved with the characters I created, that it would have been gross injustice if I hadn't finished their story. I felt a strong inner urge and the responsibility to finish their story. There were days when I only thought about the characters of the story I was weaving. I was in the zone and I felt special. Damn! I already sound like those well established authors. I hope I become one of them. And yes, for those cynics droning on around me – Yes! The book will be out soon. 

signing off,

taureansandy