Is Facebook a Parasite or a Virus?

Hi Folks,

Is Facebook a virus or a parasite? Based on the dictionary meaning of both the nouns ‘Virus’ and ‘Parasite’, I infer that it is more like a parasite than a virus. It has diffused through our minds via the Internet and derives its nutrition from our irresistible urge to know what is going on in the lives of our peers, friends and acquaintances.

Now you might be wondering why describe FB in medical terms all of a sudden. Call it the fascination with medicine and everything remotely to do with biology these days. It is because, of late quite a lot of action has been happening in my life with a direct link to FB. And then, I  am beginning to wonder whether I have become a FB addict of sorts or not. Let me restate some facts before I proceed further:

• If Facebook were to be a country, it would be the third largest populous country in the world
• According to an official study done by Facebook, 190 is the average number of friends each one of us has in it
• People now spend more time on Facebook than the time they spend daily on personal hygiene!!

Given these facts, I now have a disclaimer to make. Unlike the past, when I made sure not to hurt any sentiments through my blogs, this time I am going to be blunt and straight. So it won’t be a surprise if you as a reader don’t agree with some or all of the points and statements that I am going to make. Read further at your own risk!!

It was only yesterday that I read ‘Mark Zuckerberg marries his long time girlfriend Chan’. My first reaction was – So what? Then today, it was reported that Facebook’s stock is down after the IPO. It actually failed to ‘outperform’ and even the underwriters JP Morgan & Morgan Stanley couldn’t do much despite dumping an additional 84 million shares later. Though it was bad news for the thousands of retail investors, it was sheer music to my ears. I share a love-hate relationship with Facebook, but of late I have started wondering whether I would get rid of the addiction to it or not. And so, I am beginning to wish and pray for a divine intervention that would stop FB on its tracks and stop it further from playing havoc with my life.

If a fifth grader would ask me what ‘Facebook’ is all about, I would tell him one or all of the following depending on his ability to understand what I am trying to say (That Facebook is a bad place to be in!!)

• Facebook is a country where people (including yours truly) don’t mind their business and instead are interested in other’s lives!! (Pun Intended)
• Facebook is a country where people speak only three words ‘Like’, ‘Comment’ and ‘Share’
• Facebook is a place where a simple status message put up by a decent girl would attract infinite ‘Likes’ whereas the same is not applicable to a boy/guy
• Facebook is an institute that can teach even an introvert the ‘art of flirting’ with girls/guys/gays (Read Section 377 of the Indian Constitution)
• Facebook is an addiction

It is not as if I abhor FB completely. I love it for the following reasons

• Facebook enables me to stay in touch with all those fellow Facebookers who have literally forgotten the fact they have something known in common parlance as a ‘Cellular Phone’
• Facebook lets me dump my stupid thoughts and opinions through a feature known as a ‘Status Message’ (Otherwise, I would have definitely become a nervous wreck not knowing what to do with the useless thoughts my brain conjures up time and again!!)
• Facebook is the source of all the minuscule traffic that I ever manage to get to my blog and is also a marketing medium where I plan to potentially bombard you readers with requests to read up my upcoming untitled imaginary book (God knows when it will be published!!)

But I hate it more for reasons that are countless. Given the spatial constraints and the need to not piss Mr Mark Zuckerberg off, I shall list only a few of them

• Facebook is the only way my relatives constantly keep track of my activities. So I can’t use words like ‘Love’, ‘Engaged’, ‘Single’ and ‘Committed’. Using these words is a strict no-no for them and is a sign that I am turning to a spoilt brat!!
• My niece’s are also in FB. Come on, they are still kids for god’s sake!!
• FB increases the expectations that you have from your friends and peers. I am expected to hit ‘Like’ or ‘Share’ to every photo or status message uploaded/put up by dear friends/relatives even if I don’t like them
• FB is also a place where my messages and comments are misconstrued and where I also sometimes end up misunderstanding other’s comments
• I have to constantly filter out people from my friend’s list and put them in the ‘Custom’ category under the default privacy option
• Wherever I go, FB follows (Geo tagging and tracking)
• When I log in, FB almost inevitably shows me status messages from people I want to ignore or forget (Does Mark Zuckerberg hold a grudge on me?)
• And what the hell!! Do I care about how many points X has scored over Y in a game Z? Naah!!
• The ‘timeline’ feature initially seemed very sugary but now has become so bitter that I feel like having a little honey

And the list goes on. Is there a cure to Facebook addiction? I don’t think so. In my case, it has reached a critical mass (Read 650+ friends, half of whom I barely know!!). I desperately want to get rid of it but can’t understand how to. Can you help me? Of course, I know where there is a will there is a way out as well. But the addiction has reached to levels where I now have a widget of it on my android phone. So I urge you readers to suggest some practical solutions so that I get de-addicted without having to delete my account for good.  

One of my colleagues doesn’t have a Facebook account. In fact, he doesn’t have any account in any social networking site at all. I was initially shocked. But later I realised that probably it was one of the best decisions he had made in life – Not to have any presence in the virtual world. This blog post is dedicated to him; a guy I want to be like, content and very happy like the people from Bhutan!! J

signing off,

taureansandy

Dialogue in the Dark

Hi folks,

It was in August last year that I came home for a few days after spending a roller coaster three months in Mumbai, Allahabad, Surat and Lucknow. And one of my dear friends here proposed that we spend a day at one of the biggest malls in Hyderabad. It was a great day, with clear blue skies and everything happened as per the plan. We met at the Malakpet MMTS station and had a great time travelling in it all the way to Hi Tech city. After picking up another of our friends at Shilparamam, we finally reached Inorbit Mall. 

We were six of us, but no one had any idea as to what 'Dialogue in the Dark' was all about. All we knew was that it was a theme restaurant where every activity is done in a pitch dark environment without a single ray of light. And when I say pitch dark, I mean it literally because no illuminating instrument of any sort was used - ZERO LIGHT. Essentially it meant that we would be experiencing what it felt to be completely blind for 45 long minutes. We were not supposed to carry anything except for some cash and so promptly submitted all cellphones, purses and wallets at the reception counter before entering the darkest tunnel we have ever known. Everyone was excited and looking forward to experience what later turned out to be a completely enlightening moment for me. 

We entered inside and soon realised that we will have to fully rely on our remaining 4 senses or otherwise give up walking through the scariest path one could walk through. The guide was a bright, confident guy of my age and guided us through a Kitchen, a bedroom, a bathroom, a garden and then finally to a theatre hall where we were asked to identify voices of prominent personalities. And all this while, we felt and knew what we were walking through. We smelt soap and spices, felt pillows, bed sheets and towels. But more importantly we actually felt what it is to be blind, something that was increasingly becoming a difficult proposition with some of my friends stumbling here and there and hurting themselves in the process. But all this while, there was only one question that was bothering me. How were the guide's trained to maneuver in an environment where there was literally no light? The guide was effortlessly guiding us through the innumerable obstacles in a very curvy path interlaced with what we felt were speed breakers!! 

And when we completed all the activities and were finally led to a cafe cum restaurant, I couldn't resist asking this to the guide himself.

'How much time did you take to get trained to operate in zero light conditions? A month?', I made a wild guess.

'A month?? No, sir. We merely took about 30 hours', he replied in a rather nonchalant manner.

I was taken aback. My guess wasn't even remotely close to what he said. But I was sure I was missing something all this while. 

'But how could that be? The path that we walked on is so mind boggling. How did you....', I stopped midway unable to complete the sentence, searching for appropriate words to express my disbelief.

'Sir, I am partly....I guess, about 60% blind. In fact all my colleagues working inside 'DID' are blind to various degrees of extent. The guy who served you Coke, Chips and also correctly gave you the balance amount now is the only guy who is completely blind'

All of us fell silent on hearing this. It was an eerie silence that was making us very uncomfortable. I could in the darkness of it all, feel that each and everyone of us was pondering as to how these blind guys here were adept at doing something that we normal people were struggling to in the first place. 

To lighten up things a bit, I finally broke the silence and complimented the guides there for doing such a wonderful job. Most of them were youngsters from the Old City, but chose to be independent despite being physically handicapped. And, mind you they were the best in what they did. What impressed me most about this group of 4-5 youngsters was that they were silently guiding visitors through the path less traveled - A path where there is no LIGHT but still could be walked on, only because you are being guided by someone who knows exactly what it feels to be in the DARK forever. And that is precisely the reason, that these guides here are diligent and focused because they know 'Where there is a WILL, there is a WAY'; doesn't matter whether that WAY is illuminated or not!!

And when we finally came out of the tunnel, it felt so good to see things the way they are. And that is when I realised that we (gifted with the ability to see things) often complicate LIFE and so fail to see things the way they are. We complicate all things, relationships, emotions and thoughts and in the process hurt everyone involved. But then LIFE is all about perceptions and stereotypes, isn't it? And, I guess that's what complicates it. So if you are the one who thinks your way of life couldn't have been more complex, then I suggest you come to Hyderabad and visit 'Dialogue in the Dark'. The 45 minutes spent here will change the way you look at things or at least keep reminding you that you are still any day better off than the Blind guides working here the hard way to lead a dignified way of life!!

signing off,

'A grateful fool'

WIMWI's rendezvous with February!!

Hi folks,

    It was exactly an year ago that I remember saying to myself 'Now or Never'. My roller coaster ride at WIMWI was coming to a close and one could sense the seriousness in the air within the campus. Yes, it was the month of placements; something where you literally witness what 'Cut throat competition' actually is. Some of your peers start playing games, you would never have imagined of. And the one who comes out of this melee, unscathed becomes the true survivor of the ultimate 20 month battle that students every year face in WIMWI. 

Anyways, now that I have recently been to the campus as an 'Alumni', I recall those days with mixed emotions - Happy to have passed out successfully with honour and at the same time not happy with how certain things went about with some of my peers who were completely devastated after the end of the placement process. I could never rejoice my success for the fear of upsetting those pals who couldn't perform to their potential. And the reason I express all this is because I am sure some of my other friends would have also felt the same way as I am feeling right now. I make no bones about the fact that I somehow managed to face so much pressure on the D-Day all by myself. And so is also the case with many of my other batch-mates as well. It's very simple. If you can't manage the stress, you will fail. I don't claim to be someone who can guide you on how to approach the placements rationally. Refer to my good friend's (she happens to be my batch-mate as well) post here if you want a step-by-step practical guide to placements http://greencompass.wordpress.com/2012/01/28/a-wimwians-guide-to-practical-action-on-placements/ .

But I sure can share some tips on how to beat the stress and stay calm on the D-Day; something that I personally found out to be very effective. Disclaimer: This is certainly not a definitive list and the intention is to only share what I did with you.

• Stay away from gossip mongers - It is not very difficult. Be clear on what you want from the placements and stay true to yourself. Don't let all the talk about pay packages influence your decision. 
• Relax a day before the D-Day - Watch movies you like, listen to songs or go and read up newspapers in the library. But don't hold a book in your hand the day before!!
• Know the firm well - Make a list of firms you want to apply and start surfing about them on the net. Know well about the firm before making the most important decision of your life. 
• Know yourself - "God has made each one of us as a first class individual, don't end up as a second class copy of someone else" - Anand Pillai (Chief Learning Officer @ one of India's largest conglomerate). Learn to differentiate yourself from the crowd 
• Don't take calls on the D-Day - Switch off your 'dear' cell phone and give it some rest as well!!
• Group Discussions - Be yourself in a group discussion. Being aggressive and vocal, just for the heck of it never helps!!
• Smile when you greet the Recruiter - Remember, the recruiter is as tensed as you are. It is just that he knows how to camouflage his expressions better than you
• Don't be harsh on yourself - A missed opportunity might be a door to something better!!
• Rejoice and celebrate the day when you achieve what you set out to do in the first place
• And finally - Do help out your fellow batch-mates in getting placed. Believe me, the thrill and joy you experience when you actually see your friends getting placed can't be described in simple words. You just have to experience it!!

February is a crucial month for all WIMWIANs. But we often tend to make it more difficult for ourselves. Moreover, the kind of expectations your parents, friends, relatives and the people around you have; it becomes that much more difficult. The key is to switch off the thought process on the D-Day and take every moment as it comes. 

I know all this is easier said than done. But well, the blogger has also experienced what you are going to. To summarize, follow this mantra - 'Be yourself before the recruiter'. You start acting extra smart and things will definitely not go your way. Eventually, it is the time you spend with the recruiter that will matter the most - Nothing else!! Wishing all the fachchas the very best :)

Signing off,

A proud WIMWI alumni :)

of Passports, Chaos and Choices!!

Hii folks,

     I come from a city where every second boy is forced to become an Engineer. I am one of those engineers who is expected to make it big in the United States of America. Forget our country where unless I complete my Master's, I will not be able to make it big in life. The problem is that I am from a social background where my so called 'relatives' wouldn't consider me fit enough to be labelled as 'Successful', if I don't clear GRE or TOEFL and fly to the US of A!! 

    So here I was standing in a queue beside the Regional Passport Office - Secunderabad at 4.30 am. By then there were already thirty odd people in front of me eagerly waiting to resolve their passport related issues and get their damn passport as early as possible. One of them wanted to go to Dubai where he was promised a very good 'package'; big enough for someone who only knows how to build walls. The other was facing problems in getting her passport renewed just because she didn't have a 'marriage certificate'. 'How am I supposed to get this marriage certificate now?', I heard her complain to her husband on the phone. My guess was they were married for more than 20 years now. And even as the Sun's first rays broke out, the queue was swelling exponentially. 

   Today was an unusually cold day and my fingers were already numb. I was finding it tough to type up 'Love you' and 'Missing you' messages to my girlfriend. Yes, I am supposed to have a girlfriend as well, just like many guys of my age have these days. She woke up rather early today; just to keep me motivated. Standing in a queue for more than an hour can be tiring especially when you don't know whether you will be able to accomplish the task or not. It was very sweet of her to have chatted with me till I bid her bye and wished her luck for the lab practical exam she had. She is my junior and I would like to believe that our love story is going great guns. You never know though!! Anyways thanks to her, I somehow managed to stay calm throughout. 

Finally, by the time the Police constable there signaled the gate-keeper to let us inside the passport office complex, there were more than 300 people in the line. And along with the agents who roamed like Vultures waiting to pick up their prey (read gullible people coming from the rural hinterlands of AP), the people in the queue made a perfect setting for Chaos and Mayhem to kick in. As we started moving in slowly, I thought this to be the end of everything horrible I had imagined a moment before. The queue was moving smoothly and we entered inside the complex where there were seats arranged. We settled on the seats and there was a momentary pause of complete silence. Just then, a haughty lady arrived and asked us to get up and move towards the entrance to the 'Enquiry counters'. Was it a trigger? I don't know but the queue suddenly broke up and people started running towards the hallway to the counters. It was a stampede like situation and I didn't lose a moment to realise that I had to run to escape the unruly crowd's wrath. 

There was hardly anyone to control the mob and people started hitting each other; hurling abuses at will to hold on to their positions in the new queue that emerged in front of the entrance to the 'Enquiry Counters'. I was shocked beyond belief. Was I waiting in the queue for more than 5 hours now just to feel like shit amidst an unruly and uncivilized group of people? Half of them were as educated as you and me are. Leave the Visa, I then realised that earning a passport itself wasn't going to be easy as it seemed a few days back. 

I am proud of this city; a city where I spent the decisive moments of my life. But would I like to spend the rest of my life in a city where Corruption and Lawlessness have become the norm? I have my doubts. Anyways, thankfully the next one hour that I spent there was not difficult though. After I got my token, I sat beside a guy who held a black leather file with the title 'Indian Institute of Management - Ahmedabad' on it. I immediately felt a strong urge to talk to this guy and find out why he chose to stay rather than search for greener pastures in USA, UK or Australia. And after the usual intro-talk, when I did finally ask him the question lingering on my mind, his reply was in jest. 

'Dude, I liked the movie 'Swades' so much that I chose to do an MBA from the toughest B-School to get into rather than do what you are yearning to do now'. He laughed like a half-dead motor, then looked at me seriously and said,' I had no choice buddy. I was brought up amidst jet-fighters and guns. I was brought up in an environment where 'Nation' as a concept was given the utmost priority. So even the thought of going to 'Uncle Sam's' country was not an option for me. Yes, I still have to answer questions like 'Why didn't you go to the US of A? You could have earned so much more there!!' But I always had a choice and so do you. It is up to you as to what choice you make.'

I had never seen a guy so expressive. It was rather the question I asked him that seemed to have struck his emotional chords. But he never imposed his views on me, which I thought was very prudent of him. We then had a rather lengthy discussion on why things are so wrong in this whole messed up system of issuing passports. Thanks to this particular MBA guy, I suddenly felt so much more important and enlightened. More so because I also had my chances to share some interesting snippets and insights about Hyderabad, with a guy who I thought asked a lot of questions given his qualifications.

By the time I was finished, the clock was ticking half past eleven. I had now spent 420 minutes in what I would like to call as the 'Mess-hole of Andhra Pradesh'. If you want to experience mayhem and see how the face of corruption looks like - Visit RPO Secunderabad. If you want to see frustrated faces all around - Stand in front of RPO Secunderabad. And what more!! If you want to get robbed in broad daylight, it is again the best place for the same. Yes, there are pickpocket's lurking around as well!!

I have made my choice. Once I get my Visa stamped, I will think twice before returning back to India again. That MBA graduate did say one thing correctly - 'Listen to what your heart says and stick to the decision you make. Life is all about making choices. There is no such thing as a 'Right choice' and a 'Wrong choice'. It is when you are not true to yourself that your choice ends up as a 'Wrong choice'!!

Signing off,

An Engineer

Nomoshkar Kolkata

Hii folks,

It was only a few days ago that I went to Kolkata to attend my friend's marriage reception; my second visit to the 'City of Joy'. But what a trip it was!! One of those trips where you see everything right from abject poverty to glittering luxury. Kolkata is one of those cities where people are very courteous and believe in the philosophy of 'Athithi Devo Bhava'. Unlike Delhi, where the Autowallah or the Taxi Driver won't miss any opportunity to take you for a ride; here there is a system which people make sure they comply. Right from the taxi drivers charging you as per the digital meter to people standing in a queue for buses and Trams, everything happens in a rather mechanical manner. So, the 'Chaos' that you observe in cities like Mumbai or Delhi is rather missing in Kolkata where despite a high population density, the vehicular traffic flows smoothly and pedestrians cross the roads promptly on the zebra crossing.

But the welcome that I received was something that shook me like hell!! First of all the pilot 'Captain John Thomson' made the landing with a thud; something that evoked a collective 'Ouch' from the passengers. For a moment I felt my heart stop and it took me a full 10 seconds to realize that we were all actually safe. Then the airport itself smelt of 'Communism' with green and red hues everywhere. It is I believe the worst airport in India with not even a 'Waiting Hall' for passengers. I could only imagine the chaos that would begin every time a flight is delayed. Just when I thought the worst was over, the man sitting at the counter of the 'Bengal Prepaid Taxi Association' announced that there weren't any prepaid taxis available now.

The next day was though probably the best time I had ever. It was because when it came to photography,  Kolkata offered me a lot. I could do all sorts of it, right from street, architecture, nature to abstract photography. As a photographer, you begin to see the world through the lens of your DSLR camera. That in itself is a different perspective as you begin to observe your surroundings closely thus creating opportunities to click some wonderful moments. And as I started doing it right from the word go, I found to my amazement that I was not that bad a photographer after all. I had consciously taken the decision to try clicking pictures even while in motion, which is difficult when you have to sit in the taxi. But I did manage to get some decent clicks.

Photography is not simply about clicking pictures, but it's also about understanding and associating with the stories behind each image. A good photographer can spot such stories in and around his surroundings quite instinctively and rest of the job is then done in a flash!! I can never measure myself as to how good a photographer I am as I am still learning the nuances of it. But let me share with you some of the moments in Kolkata which left a lasting impression on me.

Watching this kid play badminton with a small plastic Table Tennis bat made me go down the memory lane. There were days when even I used to play 'gilli danda' with a wooden bat that my mother used to beat clothes while washing them.

Took this shot from the taxi while on my way to the Victoria Memorial. I miss those days when I used to have my daily evening 'Masala Special Tea' just outside the IIMA campus.

These blue and yellow painted tin buses can actually sustain the load of over a 100 passengers. At least that is what I felt when I saw this one passing besides me. Travelling in overcrowded buses is something I did way back in Hyderabad and so can empathise with the elder man who knows it will take a lifetime before he reaches his destination!!

This yellow ain't dirty and in fact adds to the charm of the city. Kolkata seems so much more bright and joyful with this color around.

The reason I feel that a sense of 'Chaos' is missing in Kolkata is because of 'TRAM'. People still find the time to travel in these painfully slow rail bogies. Pedestrians of Mumbai could easily overtake a tram in motion any day!!

A great city is always known for the heritage value associated with it. And when it comes to Kolkata, you can't help but thank the British Empire for its ingenuity and persistence in transforming a once barren village to one of the most populated cities in the world. Same goes without saying for both Mumbai and Delhi.

This group of school kids reminded me of my school days. I thoroughly used to enjoy those excursions to the zoo's and the historical monuments.

The beautiful Victoria Memorial. To quote one of my friends,'Victoria Memorial is probably the most beautiful Indian monument after Taj Mahal.' Undoubtedly it is!!

The ugly face of India. This rag picker was reading aloud an English article on Gandhi using the empty plastic cup as his mic. With a near perfect accent and pronunciation, he was either showing off his oral skills which I thought were excellent or was simply being mad!!

I should thank my friend Prasad for postponing his plan to do some shopping or otherwise I would have never been on time at the Princep Ghat to capture this :)

The Sun at its glorious best in Kolkata. The new Vidyasagar bridge just adds to the charm amidst the serene and golden waters of Hooghly.

The boatman actually stood still for a few seconds probably thinking that I was clicking his pic ;)

This shot was quite interesting. I bent a little to get a suitable angle with the Sun and after the shot was complete, fell down on the boat as the boatman turned the boat sharply to my left.

Dancing in front of 200 odd people is never easy. But this wonder kid thought otherwise and rocked the floor with her mesmerising dance moves :)

Kolkata is a nice city to live in provided you earn enough. Otherwise, surviving in this city becomes difficult given the lack of infrastructure and amenities in most parts of the city. After experiencing the facilities or rather the lack of it at the Kolkata Airport, my friend commented, 'People here have forgotten to liberalise.' But the best part about this city is that the people here are sweet just like the sweetness associated with a 'Rosogulla' or a 'Sondesh'.

Signing off,
Taureansandy